Today I wanted to get out and do something out of the normal, so I went to the pool at my apartments by myself. Normally, I probably wouldn't even go with people I like so to go along was really stretching my limits. I don't really like swimming because I don't like the way I look in a swimming suit, I don't really know how to play in the water, and I don't like water in my eyes (even clean water). Also, I feel the need to wear much sun screen when I am out doors longer than a half hour and that is kind of a pain in and of itself. So I went by myself. There was no one down there. I sat and read my book for a good chapter or so, but then I got too hot so I knew I had to just get in the water.
At first the water shocked my body and I was uncomfortable, but once I was all the way in, the water felt so refreshing. So a little something about me: I don't like to just play, or tinker, or do anything much by myself really. But when I am around people, I am so afraid of what people think of me that I kind of freeze and don't know how to be myself. So I am sitting in the pool, by myself, and I popped my bubble! I tried to float on my back and then suddenly, my arms started moving. I didn't know I knew how to do a back stroke! I swam laps and played in the water! I don't know what changed in me this afternoon. I didn't care what people would think if they saw me or feel silly that I was playing all by my lonesome. It was such a great feeling to just let go. I think the last time I felt that secure with myself was when I was a child growing up in Orangeville, Utah.
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