Where Is This Happiness You Speak Of?

I promise that not all of my blog posts will be so deep. My next one (already have it planned out) is about my favorite new recipes! I just really wanted to share with you heartfelt, honest thoughts that have been going through my mind lately.

In my mind, there are two types of motivation. The first is like a firework. You have so much pressure building up and you explode with excitement to show your wonderful idea. You have a new goal and you kick off your new journey powerfully. But it lasts for like 20 seconds (or the first month or so after New Years haha). The second motivation is like a candle. There is still a ton of potential to burn and supply a lot of light, but the light is gradual and lasts for months. I guess this is what the "smart" goals that we learn about in school that actually work. Does this make sense?

I tend to be like the firework. I get a great idea and I have so much energy and passion for that idea that I am convinced that it is going to work exactly how I want it to. However, after about a month or three or so I tend to be unsatisfied with my life. Deep down I start to question the validity of myself and my ideas. My self-esteem drops  and I feel like I hit rock bottom. But what happened? I was so motivated and excited before. Why do I not have that same passion and fulfillment in my life? Am I not good enough?

I know that God loves me as His special, cherished, and beloved daughter. I know He is aware of me and the way I feel. I know he loves me without a doubt. I believe that God wants me (and everybody else) to be happy and not feel frustrated, confused, or sad. God is perfect right? His way is the way that leads to happiness. But where is this happiness when I feel like my motivation is long gone and I feel low?

I believe fullheartedly that God is perfect and therefore, His plan for me is perfect. I feel low and unsatisfied because I do not line up my goals with the path that God knows will bring me the greatest happiness. I read my scriptures and pray and all those primary answers, but I am learning there is more to it than that. Listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost is one way we can stay on the path that is best for us. The Holy Ghost will not lead you astray because He is one with the Father. They have the same plan. Period.

We can all feel the influence of the Holy Ghost guiding and directing us in our life whether it be help making a decision, a warning not to go somewhere, or even loving assurance that God is aware of you and is helping you because you are His child. I believe that as I study out the path I want to take in my mind, pray about it, and take time to be still to listen to the Holy Ghost, I can feel constant guidance and reassurance in every aspect of my life. I might take a wrong turn here and there and therefore feel sad or low, but if I am doing my best to follow the will of God, I know that I will always be able to stand back up and keep running down God's perfect path for me that leads me to the ultimate happiness.

 I am not saying that there will not be trials and things in life that make me sad because that is unavoidable. I am also not talking about spiritual things only either. I believe that God can direct us through the Holy Ghost in every aspect of our lives whether it be choosing a major, studying for a test, purchasing a new car, or whatever it may be. And that is my thought of the night :)

Marriage! Oh Happy Day!!

After completing two years of my university studies, I have decided that the concept of marriage that is taught in public schools and universities is wrong. I have been taught in these public settings that marriage does not work long term, that it can be a bad thing, and that it is a traditional contract that is loosing its validity as time passes. I do not understand why these concepts about marriage are taught. I do not understand because I can make a huge list of marriages that have worked that is comparable to marriages that have failed. Within that list, I can make details of each couple and the struggles they have had to overcome to make their marriage worth it. It is hard for me to accept the public attitude that is being taught so consistantly.

 On the top of my list is the example my parents and grandparents have given me. Each couple was married very young. Each has disagreements about finances, the way the home should be run, and a myriad of points of views that don't match up all the time. Among my family and other couples I am surrounded by I have noticed that they have a few things in common that probably have helped their marriage stay strong. The first is that they forgive each other of the big things of course, but they also forgive each other of the small things that can build up pressure and contention. The second thing is their ability to express love to each other privately and in public. An example of this can simply be to hold hands in public. The third thing is their ability to communicate sooner rather than later. They talk about their issues, concerns, heartaches, joys, etc as they happen rather than putting them off. So basically, these couples let go of their pride of self and self interest in order to maintain their marriages and relationships.

I have recently been married and I love it! I want to work to make sure that I have a healthy relationship with my sweetheart Alex Cameron Fish :) I love him so much and I value who he is as a son of God. I want him to feel important, loved, and appreciated. I want to help him fulfill his role as husband by living up to my role as wife. I am so blessed to be sealed to him in the temple of God for time and eternity! I love Alex and I am so blessed that I know that he loves me too :) I hope I can follow the example my parents, grandparents, and ancestors have set for me. I hope that Alex and I can love each other as much as this man loves his wife in this video. http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2484411795001