Where Is This Happiness You Speak Of?

I promise that not all of my blog posts will be so deep. My next one (already have it planned out) is about my favorite new recipes! I just really wanted to share with you heartfelt, honest thoughts that have been going through my mind lately.

In my mind, there are two types of motivation. The first is like a firework. You have so much pressure building up and you explode with excitement to show your wonderful idea. You have a new goal and you kick off your new journey powerfully. But it lasts for like 20 seconds (or the first month or so after New Years haha). The second motivation is like a candle. There is still a ton of potential to burn and supply a lot of light, but the light is gradual and lasts for months. I guess this is what the "smart" goals that we learn about in school that actually work. Does this make sense?

I tend to be like the firework. I get a great idea and I have so much energy and passion for that idea that I am convinced that it is going to work exactly how I want it to. However, after about a month or three or so I tend to be unsatisfied with my life. Deep down I start to question the validity of myself and my ideas. My self-esteem drops  and I feel like I hit rock bottom. But what happened? I was so motivated and excited before. Why do I not have that same passion and fulfillment in my life? Am I not good enough?

I know that God loves me as His special, cherished, and beloved daughter. I know He is aware of me and the way I feel. I know he loves me without a doubt. I believe that God wants me (and everybody else) to be happy and not feel frustrated, confused, or sad. God is perfect right? His way is the way that leads to happiness. But where is this happiness when I feel like my motivation is long gone and I feel low?

I believe fullheartedly that God is perfect and therefore, His plan for me is perfect. I feel low and unsatisfied because I do not line up my goals with the path that God knows will bring me the greatest happiness. I read my scriptures and pray and all those primary answers, but I am learning there is more to it than that. Listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost is one way we can stay on the path that is best for us. The Holy Ghost will not lead you astray because He is one with the Father. They have the same plan. Period.

We can all feel the influence of the Holy Ghost guiding and directing us in our life whether it be help making a decision, a warning not to go somewhere, or even loving assurance that God is aware of you and is helping you because you are His child. I believe that as I study out the path I want to take in my mind, pray about it, and take time to be still to listen to the Holy Ghost, I can feel constant guidance and reassurance in every aspect of my life. I might take a wrong turn here and there and therefore feel sad or low, but if I am doing my best to follow the will of God, I know that I will always be able to stand back up and keep running down God's perfect path for me that leads me to the ultimate happiness.

 I am not saying that there will not be trials and things in life that make me sad because that is unavoidable. I am also not talking about spiritual things only either. I believe that God can direct us through the Holy Ghost in every aspect of our lives whether it be choosing a major, studying for a test, purchasing a new car, or whatever it may be. And that is my thought of the night :)