Disconnect

Being connected is a huge stigma in our society. It is almost expected that you are connected whether it be for business or even a friendly email. The internet is such a wonderful blessing! I don't need to get into why because that is already familiar to you. There are so many gadgets that make communication easier, make work easier, make life easier, etc. I am so grateful for all the tools that I have that help me with my schooling, but also those things that entertain me and help me stay connected and updated. with my family.

I love all these tools and gadgets and games and websites. They have the potential to make life better. However, there needs to be a disconnect in order to make real connections that matter most. 

Do you want to be noticed? Stop trying to be noticed online and take time to notice the good in those around you Most of the time you will find that those people that you notice tend to notice you too. Do you want to be entertained? Try spending time with a family member or even a neighbor. Chances are, they have a pretty good story to tell or share a common interest with you. Do you want friends? Let me rephrase that question: Do you want real live friends that care about you and you care about them? Log off of Facebook turn off the TV or whatever and go do something nice for someone else without expecting them to give back. This one will take some time and patience, but it is much more rewarding than a picture that changes every few weeks or so. 

Do you want to feel better about yourself? Instead of comparing your life to another's online, take a few moments every day to make a list of things that are good in your life whether it be you like the way your hair looks today or that you are grateful that some random lady smiled at you today. Also, one way you can feel better about yourself is to spend time with God. He knows you best and He knows the best you are and the best can become. Pray about it and listen; I bet He will let you know how precious you are to Him. He will tell you everyday. Just take the time to listen to Him instead of those mean voices that pop into your head leading you to believe that you are worthless, ugly, inadequate, or incapable compared to the other people you observe online or on TV. 

To disconnect more often is something I want to work on more diligently. I have a great life and I don't need to waste my time in an online hole of comparison and loneliness. I think this would be a great thing for many people to consider. I am not saying give up all your games or your Facebook, but to consider spending less time on those things and more time with people or even more quiet time (who doesn't need more of that haha?). I would like to think that making a disconnect would help people be more kind and considerate and willing to help those around them.

*this post was written without spell check and I was in a rush. Please forgive me if there are grammatical or punctuation errors.  I also have many other thoughts about this, so there might be a part two.

Bitter-Sweet Spring

Last semester of school (spring 2013) was a beast for me! For the first time in my life, I did not get strait A's and an occasional B. In fact, I received mainly C+ grades last semester. For those of you who know me, this is not typical of me. I have always valued my education and it is important to me to do exceptional. Do not think that I finally just decided to relax a little about school. Believe me, I was going turbo! I just struggled learning the concepts I needed to for my classes. It did not help that one of my professors did not show up half the time and he tested us from a book that was not listed in the syllabus nor did he tell us what book it was. Anyway, this past semester of school really dampened my moral and took a huge blow to my confidence. I even questioned my self worth because my entire life, I accredited my strengths and worth to my academic career then suddenly an earthquake hit my track record.

One day towards the end of the semester (late March) I found myself walking out the testing center again. I was able to see my score before I left. I definitely failed another test (failed test number 9 for the semester).  To get back to campus from the testing center at UVU, you have to cross this massive parking lot. It takes me about seven minutes to walk across it at a comfortable pace. So I was walking across this massive parking lot; it was so cold and windy. I had a break down and I was angry and sad. Just as I started to do the cry-hiccup (sobbing), I heard a tender voice say to my heart, "Sarah, you are my daughter and that is most important." My tears turned to tears of joy and suddenly, the stress and anger that I had been carrying for months did not matter anymore. I was okay with my current academic status of failing which probably sounds strange. I am so grateful to know that Heavenly Father was aware of me when I felt the lowest and made everything better. I am so grateful for the comfort that brings my heart because He was not aware of me just at that moment of distress, He is aware of me always.

Provo Temple Grounds :)

Alex and I had a beautiful date just walking around the grounds at the Provo Utah LDS Temple. It has been rainy all day and it was great! These are some of the pictures I got with my phone :) Alex took some good ones too!

Fall 2013 Here I Come!

(I loved sitting by this beautiful pond in the tops of the mountains pondering)

As I was reading the book " Increase in Learning: Spiritual Patterns for Obtaining Your Own Answers" by Elder David A. Bednar, I came across this paragraph. It makes me think about the way I learn and study things. It also makes me think about why I do the things I do and behave the way I behave and think the way I think. It reads as follows:

" Clearly we must use our minds and our rational capacity; however, we are not explicitly counseled to apply our minds, but our hearts, in seeking for understanding. Perhaps the implications of the scriptures is that reason and "the arm of flesh" (Doctrine and Covenants 1:19) are not sufficient to engender true understanding. The word understanding as used in the scriptures does not refer solely or even primarily to intellectual or cognitive comprehension. Rather, when the Holy Ghost confirms in our hearts as true what we know in our minds, understanding occurs.

" We begin to understand and experience a mighty change of heart as testimony and conviction more from our heads to our hearts. Thoughts and feelings put into our hearts by the Holy Ghost (see Doctrine and Covenants 100: 5-8, 8:2) are a result of the spiritual gift of revelation. Understanding, then, is a revealed conclusion and a spiritual gift."

Even though Elder Bednar is talking about understanding doctrinal concepts and gospel principles, I think this applies to many things that are not primarily spiritual in nature. We learn in the Book of Mormon that every good thing comes from Jesus Christ. I think modern medicine is good. I think literature is amazing. I even think mathematics is a good thing. What I am trying to get at is that if we learn of good things whether they be academic, or just everyday skills, the Holy Ghost will testify of the truth of those concepts because they are good and all good things come from Jesus Christ. The Holy Ghost's purpose is to testify of Jesus Christ so would it not make sense that the Holy Ghost would testify of good things if they come from Jesus even if it is something as ordinary as mathematics?

As I approach this next semester at UVU, I want to take time to ponder and study the things I learn in my classes and pray about them. I hope that by doing this, the Holy Ghost will help me understand the concepts I will learn and help me know how to apply them. He will help me know why the things I learn are important. I hope that by praying about the things I learn in school I will come closer to my Heavenly Father because I am taking time to ponder His hand in my life and in the world's. I think if we pondered about academic concepts, we could see Heavenly Father in all things. I know one thing for sure: I like God more than I like school! So hopefully by working on this goal, school will become more enjoyable because I will learn more of my Heavenly Father.

Where Is This Happiness You Speak Of?

I promise that not all of my blog posts will be so deep. My next one (already have it planned out) is about my favorite new recipes! I just really wanted to share with you heartfelt, honest thoughts that have been going through my mind lately.

In my mind, there are two types of motivation. The first is like a firework. You have so much pressure building up and you explode with excitement to show your wonderful idea. You have a new goal and you kick off your new journey powerfully. But it lasts for like 20 seconds (or the first month or so after New Years haha). The second motivation is like a candle. There is still a ton of potential to burn and supply a lot of light, but the light is gradual and lasts for months. I guess this is what the "smart" goals that we learn about in school that actually work. Does this make sense?

I tend to be like the firework. I get a great idea and I have so much energy and passion for that idea that I am convinced that it is going to work exactly how I want it to. However, after about a month or three or so I tend to be unsatisfied with my life. Deep down I start to question the validity of myself and my ideas. My self-esteem drops  and I feel like I hit rock bottom. But what happened? I was so motivated and excited before. Why do I not have that same passion and fulfillment in my life? Am I not good enough?

I know that God loves me as His special, cherished, and beloved daughter. I know He is aware of me and the way I feel. I know he loves me without a doubt. I believe that God wants me (and everybody else) to be happy and not feel frustrated, confused, or sad. God is perfect right? His way is the way that leads to happiness. But where is this happiness when I feel like my motivation is long gone and I feel low?

I believe fullheartedly that God is perfect and therefore, His plan for me is perfect. I feel low and unsatisfied because I do not line up my goals with the path that God knows will bring me the greatest happiness. I read my scriptures and pray and all those primary answers, but I am learning there is more to it than that. Listening to the promptings of the Holy Ghost is one way we can stay on the path that is best for us. The Holy Ghost will not lead you astray because He is one with the Father. They have the same plan. Period.

We can all feel the influence of the Holy Ghost guiding and directing us in our life whether it be help making a decision, a warning not to go somewhere, or even loving assurance that God is aware of you and is helping you because you are His child. I believe that as I study out the path I want to take in my mind, pray about it, and take time to be still to listen to the Holy Ghost, I can feel constant guidance and reassurance in every aspect of my life. I might take a wrong turn here and there and therefore feel sad or low, but if I am doing my best to follow the will of God, I know that I will always be able to stand back up and keep running down God's perfect path for me that leads me to the ultimate happiness.

 I am not saying that there will not be trials and things in life that make me sad because that is unavoidable. I am also not talking about spiritual things only either. I believe that God can direct us through the Holy Ghost in every aspect of our lives whether it be choosing a major, studying for a test, purchasing a new car, or whatever it may be. And that is my thought of the night :)

Marriage! Oh Happy Day!!

After completing two years of my university studies, I have decided that the concept of marriage that is taught in public schools and universities is wrong. I have been taught in these public settings that marriage does not work long term, that it can be a bad thing, and that it is a traditional contract that is loosing its validity as time passes. I do not understand why these concepts about marriage are taught. I do not understand because I can make a huge list of marriages that have worked that is comparable to marriages that have failed. Within that list, I can make details of each couple and the struggles they have had to overcome to make their marriage worth it. It is hard for me to accept the public attitude that is being taught so consistantly.

 On the top of my list is the example my parents and grandparents have given me. Each couple was married very young. Each has disagreements about finances, the way the home should be run, and a myriad of points of views that don't match up all the time. Among my family and other couples I am surrounded by I have noticed that they have a few things in common that probably have helped their marriage stay strong. The first is that they forgive each other of the big things of course, but they also forgive each other of the small things that can build up pressure and contention. The second thing is their ability to express love to each other privately and in public. An example of this can simply be to hold hands in public. The third thing is their ability to communicate sooner rather than later. They talk about their issues, concerns, heartaches, joys, etc as they happen rather than putting them off. So basically, these couples let go of their pride of self and self interest in order to maintain their marriages and relationships.

I have recently been married and I love it! I want to work to make sure that I have a healthy relationship with my sweetheart Alex Cameron Fish :) I love him so much and I value who he is as a son of God. I want him to feel important, loved, and appreciated. I want to help him fulfill his role as husband by living up to my role as wife. I am so blessed to be sealed to him in the temple of God for time and eternity! I love Alex and I am so blessed that I know that he loves me too :) I hope I can follow the example my parents, grandparents, and ancestors have set for me. I hope that Alex and I can love each other as much as this man loves his wife in this video. http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2484411795001

Choices

Life can be pretty hard sometimes don't you think? I know that it can be for me. It is easy to feel overwhelmed, undervalued, and exhausted.  Blaming others or even simply a circumstance seems easy to justify our negative reactions of complaining, acting grumpy, or even becoming apathetic. Over the last several months or so I have learned that those feelings come by our own choice. Now let me explain why I came to that conclusion.

As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I believe that "man will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression" (Articles of Faith 1:2). I believe that I will be accountable for all of my actions or inaction's and my behavior. I believe in agency meaning I believe that I can choose to do what I will with my life, but there are positive and negative consequences for every choice I make including my behavior and attitude.  I believe that God lives and  has set specific guidelines and commandments that are meant to benefit us rather than limit us. I know that as I choose to follow God's commandments, I can feel complete peace and happiness. I can progress and experience freedom. I know that as I keep the commandments, God will bless me.

I have thought and prayed about these things a lot. Friends and family helped me overcome my feelings of overwhelmed, undervalued, and exhausted. However, I feel the most complete and satisfying  peace as I choose to follow the commandments of God. I learned that I was feeling so negative because I was choosing to do so. It was a way for me to get attention fast if I complained about those feelings to others. As I choose to think about happy things (family, good parts of the day, gratitude, etc.) I feel happy. I feel even more peace as I thank God for those things. By focusing on the good aspects of my life, I could easily see that God is paying attention to me. Why would I need to create a reason to get attention from anyone else?

Life can be hard, but it does not need to be. You can choose to be optimistic, composed, relaxed, and happy. You can also choose to over schedule your time, live an unhealthy lifestyle, and neglect the spiritual aspect of your life. I know that as you choose to be positive and actually do positive things (example: keep the commandments) with a heart full of gratitude, God will help you overcome whatever your trials may be. It might take time, but God is ever aware of you and will not leave you to fall permanently. I know that as you choose to do the things that God and His Son Jesus Christ would have you do, you will feel complete happiness and peace. It is totally worth the sacrifice. Promise.